BODY/COURAGE Stories

What is YOUR Body/Courage Story?

The Importance of Storytelling 

I travel around the world and ask people 10 questions based on their personal body image.

I am truly astounded by how different each response has been based on 10 simple questions.

I would love to hear about something courageous your body as gone through. Use this as a forum to share your experiences and to promote positive body love.

Some of these stories do end up in the show (with your permission of course!)

Storytelling and the opening up of one’s truth is what changes the world and what ultimately changes the hearts of several audience members that I perform in front of each night.

I will also use this portion of the site to share transcribed interviews that may not end up in the full version of the script, but they are so GOOD they have to be told!

Still Don’t Know What To Say?

Share with me a time when your body had to be BRAVE!

Love you all,

D

 

One Comment

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  1. At the age of 45 I still struggle with my body image, allbeit a size 10 and not bad per say, I was always blessed, long legs, nice rounded backside, high cheekbones, long eyelashes, d cups and oozed sex appeal. Now you are starting to get the picture, yes my body image was based on how others reacted to me and it. I was a size 4-6 until I turned 35 and then my metabolism changed and I can remember when I clearly had no business in a size 8 and refused to buy a size 10. My girlfriend said “why, it’s only a number”.

    On my mothers side, they are all tiny, petite woman, even after having 2 sets of twins the woman was 100 lbs soaking wet at the time of her death, she was 32 years old. My twin is also tiny and often refers to me as fat. But I can remember telling her that when I put on 10 lbs, it looked like 5 and when she put on 10 lbs, it looked like 20, I had height on my side being 5 to 6 inches taller. On my fathers side, they are tall, busty solid woman, not heavy just solid. So I got the best of both worlds so to speak, small boned yet tall and can carry 120 lbs to 165 lbs decently.

    At the age of 12 I started to develop and my step mother 10 years my senior even hated me…I had a beautiful and flawless body with curves and all. And that is when my father started to molest me. All of the sudden I started to realize the power of sexuality and survival, now this is when body image was formed. Social services really did not do much, their goal was to keep the family united, so while my father was lying to them he was continuing to assault me and my step mother could have cared less. My father was extremely dominant and abusive, he would think nothing of punching my sister in the mouth, but me, he was almost kind to, because he felt if he was he would be granted touch. And he was, because I was trying to protect my sister who had been through our mother’s suicide and just couldn’t handle much more trauma. I could “barter” or placate my way through my teens with him, if I did not want him to hit her I could say so, if I needed new clothes I could get them, but I wasn’t manipulating for the sake of manipulation, I was surviving and trying to navigate through a world that was war torn.

    What my father did to me set the stage for my body image and value and values. I found that my worth was in my body, it’s sensuality, it’s inviting nature and if I wasn’t appealing to someone then I felt worthless. I worked hard to look the part, dress wise, always demure in nature. I could eat anything I wanted, in college my roommate would joke that she gained everything I ate. I was promiscious and never really commited. Eventually, I ended up pregnant and he and I ended up married, and even had another child. I can remember car shopping, he wanted me to get a mini-van and I test drove one around the block, came back and said no this vehicle screams I am a mother and to me mothers weren’t sexy. And even after childbirth I regained my beautiful frame. And I never had a lack of suitors, married or separated, mother or professional. I also never had a male friend, sure I had guys I spoke to but it all ended up the same way..we would end up in bed. Somehow, I thought that a man loved me if he wanted to sleep with me and deep down what I really wanted was to be loved, not slept with but the lines were blurred, it seemed so impossible. One of my “friends” laughed at me when I said I wanted a man to find my mind attractive, I was young and nieve then.

    I rarely got a job that my boss wasn’t a man that would end up making a sexual inuendo the day I started, some were brazen and others groomed but in the end run I always felt as though I needed to accomodate them in order to keep my position. I was wildly successful in sales, outgoing, pretty and personality plus, I was not about to let some guy who couldn’t see past his own desires determine my career altitude. I was doing well making 90k a year in corporate america, not bad for a girl that had her GED and 1 1/2 years of college.

    Flash forward to 41 now, single and settled, don’t really go out, don’t drink, I was an active mom, cheerleading coach, baseball booster member, co-chair for fundraising committees, I had no body image anymore really, I was safe and secure and maternally focused, and I gained all that weight at 35 and went to a size 10 I kind of retreated on the dating front. I would also pick out clothes that would accent my long legs or my cleavage and take attention away from my stomach. 2009 the economy tanks and there goes my amazing job, our home and my 2 cars, with 2 kids that are a junior and a senior.

    Back in survival mode, I rested on what I had learned so many years ago, I started escorting and the woman that had been a mother for so long and felt “fat”, once again was back to “objectified” body image. But now I was 30 years older, and 30 years wiser. I found that while this country was in a recession there was no recession in sex. I lost over 30 lbs, I was working out everyday and back to a size 6. I started to treat my new profession as a trade and worked to hone my skills, I also felt attractive and liberated. I was making incredible money, working on my terms, and body image was who I had become, it was what I offered to my clients, sexuality and conversation. The little girl of 12 lived again, and she was no longer a victim, instead she was somewhat disconnected able to treat the act as if it was nothing more than an act itself this time caring for 2 children was at stake and this in the long run was all she ever really had.

    I am retired now, working as a successful, legitimate business owner. I have been in a long term relationship that is a safe zone for me, full of respect, love, trust and intimacy. I am also a size 10 again and struggle still with my body image. Who wouln’t at a young age my father said I love you and touched me, and every job offer I got came with a price tag as well. I took a leap of faith that maybe, just maybe I could be worthy of more than just that of body image, I could actually be worth love, true and genuine love and found I was right. I also found that sexuality is not the only thing I am capable of doing well. I am a good business woman, I am a good mother, I am a good partner in every sense of the meaning, I am a good person. A friend once said to me “silly girl, I love you for who you are, not what you do” and it stuck with me. And who I am is so much more than my body image, so I may struggle with the whole size thing but I am ok with me now, yes even at a size 10.

    Like

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