Have you ever had one of those days where you literally thought the entire universe was against you?
Today I woke up at 4am, roaming the house and trying to find something to eat. Our little family has been super broke in these last couple of weeks and we are both on the one meal a day diet. Between our 99cent Granola cereal from Jewel Osco (also known as bird food) or our fake Whole Wheat “Grilled Cheese Sandwiches” hubbie and I are surviving on many hugs.
One of the few things that are making me smile are my brand new Crocs I just received this month. The Women’s Duet Busy Day Skimmer: Grab Shoes Here—
These shoes have been making my life so much easier. This week has been SO busy! My students have all been auditioning for graduate programs and I have been running around the Westin in Chicago at the MFA Graduate UR/TA auditions trying to get my students into some awesome schools. For the past week, I have worn Crocs on my feet from the moment I wake up till when I go to sleep. Yes, it is that serious. My feet can’t be stressed too!
So, I got word this morning that the theatre company bumped the show up to the 193 seat theatre, due to a “double booking issue.” 45 tickets have been pre-booked for the show and now to find out in the next week I will need to find approx. 148 seats to fill the space…..
I just collapsed. Swallowed whole by a bed heaping full of scripts and old granola.
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I went on two Voiceover auditions with my agency this morning.
One of the voiceover agents told me my read for one of the commercials was “absolutely terrible.” Emotional spent and rocked all at once. I crawled out of my agents office into the brisk, frigid, arctic air of Chicago, fell to my knees on Huron Street (by the Whole Foods) and bawled my eyes out.
I felt like I was in some sort of Greek tragedy. It just felt like at that moment everything in my life was falling apart.
I tried to sort myself out. I went home, ate some more Granola and tried to get myself ready for the other show I am in at the moment.
5 people were in the audience today.
Honestly, I have performed for less when I was in college. My favourite memory was when our 15 member cast of In Conflict performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in Scotland for 2 people. Those were the days : )
I appreciated these 5 people. They came all the way out to see a show about police brutality in the middle of snow-maggedon. But, this performance was not my best. I was performing on auto-pilot to keep myself from having another Clytemnestra break down on stage.
When the show was over…
I found out, the 5 people, in the audience, were members of the top Film & TV Casting Agency in Chicago….
I want to discuss Spiritual Warfare with you all today. It is a term my mother and grandmother would use all the time in the house when I was younger. I never, fully, understood it until I got older.
When crazy-ish is happening in your life in droves. Know that you are on your way to a bigger blessing. Bigger opportunities. It is the most difficult thing in the world to pull yourself out of your own slump. Trust me, I know. There are days when all I want to do is sit around the house, eat Apple Pie a la mode and watch repeats of Property Brothers on Netflix.
You have to keep living! It is imperative. Surround yourself with people who can encourage and inspire you, especially on the days you cannot even inspire yourself.
Today, I had to call on the people who knew me best. The people who would give me a glimpse of hope to just keep me moving.
If you pray. Pray and meditate everywhere. Sing loudly and fight back. You cannot stay in a slump. I cannot stay in a slump. I do not have the time. The show is next week! I have been reading the chapter of Ephesians, constantly!
For those readers who do not feel comfortably praying and reading the Bible, take a moment out of your day to lay quietly and listen to your inner sprit. Breathing out is letting go.
Some people say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
My grandmother would say: Turn Your Hand & Make Fashion. Which simply means: create better opportunities or visions with the foolishness life can present to you. Even if life gives you a rough time, make the best out of a bad situation and continue to live on purpose.
Today was the worst, but tomorrow is going to be better. It always does.