I haven’t written an entry in a little while so it seems like the time to do so. What is on your Wish List this holiday season?
I just wanted to let you all know I went into the grocery store yesterday and for the first time was not worried about my card being declined. Do you ever feel like all of your checks are going towards bills? Do you feel like you spend more time at work than actually living?
In this Holiday Season we can be bombarded by commercial spectacle we think may make us happy. Snow men, $30 Trees living inside your homes with dollar store ornaments, $15 Phillips LED Christmas Lights, Luther Vandross Christmas hits and all the rest. We can forget the meaning of this holiday season.
I find myself, this month, more thankful than I have been in the entire year. Between the months of May-November we experienced one of our toughest financial seasons to date. I have absolutely no idea how we paid bills, rent and ate. There were moments when I ate one big meal a day so that we could have money for other living expenses. My husband, who has a Master’s degree and worked as a professor in the U.K. experienced his first job in the USA by working in supermarkets chopping vegetables He then left the U.S. so that he could work and support our family from afar. I work 3 part-time jobs and in the last couple of months had to scrape pennies together for quarters to get our laundry cleaned, or to have enough money to pay the WiFi Bill.
As an actor I did not get cast in a show for 10 months. I was sent out on auditions 7 times within those 10 months. My confidence in my craft was at an all time low, but I am so thankful that I decided to follow/pursue the dreams of Body/Courage.
The first check I ever received for performing the Body/Courage workshop was $4. Yup! The next check was $30. The next check after that in September was $600 for doing the Chicago Fringe Festival. With all of those checks I remained thankful and still unsure of how I was going to pay for everything. All of those checks went to bills in some capacity. God works it out all the time. I know some of my readers do not believe in God, but I want you all to know that life struggle is a character builder.
I prayed a couple of days ago that I could finally have a check and save it in a bank, like a normal person. A person that can shop in Express and buy a blazer for $50 and not sweat about it. A person who owns more than one pair of jeans. A person who can afford to buy snow boots during the cold winter months. Today was the first day I have been able to save one of my checks since being married.
In this Season of Character Building I am TRYING to be thankful. It is tough. Trust me. Especially when you are stressed about what tomorrow will bring. It is especially difficult when you feel your situation is out of your hands or maybe you created you own hardships. Being thankful can be exhausting. But, remaining joyful and hopefully in times of hardships will create a breakthrough. It will also make you thankful for the little you have. I have been learning in this Season that I cannot forget to be thankful.
I want us in the season that we are currently in to look it in the face and say: “I have the courage to move past you and I will fight till my dreams come true.” Say it out loud! Let’s do it together!
Make a list today of all of the little things you have to be grateful for. Whether that may be having enough money to pay for your Netflix account, finding a good parking space or finding something to eat. WRITE IT DOWN.
Some things I am thankful about:
I am thankful for mothers who believe in my dreams they travel distances to see me perform and have supported us when the finances were non-existent. I am thankful for my husband. I am so grateful to Crocs for giving me the opportunity to blog collaborate with them, because if I wasn’t given this opportunity, I would have been wearing the same rain boots with holes I’ve owned since Freshman year of college. I have never had shoes so comfortable in my life and everyone compliments me on them!
I am thankful for being on Windy City Live. I am thankful that I got to perform a selection of my show for Second City Chicago and they like it so much they asked me to send a full video of both shows! I am thankful for being able to go to Chase bank today and hand over $40 to finally save. I am thankful for talented friends and family that inspire me. I thankful for everyone who: came to see the show, followed the journey and reads the blog. I am thankful that my best friend is living her television dreams we would talk about in a mouse infested, cold apartment in North Philadelphia. I am thankful to have 2 auditions scheduled next week. I am thankful to be in a show right now that means the world to me. I am thankful for everyone who has been interviewed for Body/Courage. I am thankful for my students. I am thankful for finally having a breakthrough.
I leave this POWERFUL speech by Oprah with you today. I hope it inspires you. Every time I get down, I watch this. Every single time. There are no mistakes. You will come out of your tough situation on TOP! I promise.
What is it going to take for you to breakthrough your current situation? How can I help?