Crocs in the Club: Tales of a True Fashionista

Hey Everyone,

Thank you all so much for reading the last two blog entires and for all of your amazing comment/notes it has been truly appreciated. I love all of you!!!!

Okay so let me tell you about my ghetto hot mess weekend.

I went to see an amazing production of Animal Farm at “Steppenwolf Theatre Company.” They just got 4 stars in the Tribune!  For all theatregoers who know Chris Jones DOES NOT GIVE 4 STARS AWAY EASILY!  Get your tickets here. The production was so great and the performances were AWESOME! It is a family friendly show so bring all the kiddies and have a fun night out.

So it was opening night and we had some backstage champagne and cake. Classy. We then headed over to a local bar to chat and talk theatre. Mind you- I showed up to the opening of the show wearing my Steve Madden patent leather flats that had to have been created by Satan himself. Honey when I tell you them rhinestones had my pinkey toe pinchin’ all night. I was walking like a true hobgoblin. I was crying on the inside like:

Jesus be a Dr. Scholl’s patch for my heels and toes in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

But, of course like all queens, I hobbled into that bar with class and grace.

So this is when it turns into a trashy mess:

I get a call from one of my best friends in Chicago. Let’s make her name up for the purposes of the entry. Let’s call her…Courtney. Courtney sends me a text message and says she is trying to meet up for drinks. Little did I know drinks meant…we were going to the club. When I turned 26, my bedtime has consistently been at 11pm. A great Saturday night would be having some Merlot and Watching Viola Davis Re-Runs of How To Get Away With Murder.

Now at this point in the night, around 12am, I changed my shoes from the devil worshipping Steve Madden’s to the God fearing Crocs.


Backstory on How I Got the Crocs: 

My mother in law, like the angel she is, came to visit Jack and I during the summer. She insisted I try her Crocs on.  Now, I have always hated the look of crocs. I feel if rain boots and orthopaedic slippers had a night of debauchery and if the orthopaedic slippers gave birth to a bastard child…the child would be Crocs. But, I humoured my mother in law and tried them on.

BABBYYYY….when I tell you my feet have never felt so good. I literally leaped in joy. My mother in law decided that I should just have them and she gifted me her Crocs. I have never taken them off since. Honey, I wear them to work. I plan outfits with them. I am a crack croc-head. I love them. They feel like a warm summer breeze or a roof-top lounge, or even an unlimited seafood feast. Crocs are delicious and nutritious to my feet.


Back to the real story: 

So Courtney and I end up at the club in the city called Untitled. It is a bougie, wolf on wall streetesque club here in Chicago. Everyone was either in suits or business causal wear. People were waiting in a line to experience this place. So I rummaged in my purse and decided to take the Crocs off and put on my Steve Madden shoes, because the dress code was serious.

We enter the club and you can just see the six figure incomes. It was no joke. I was not dressed for the occasion. I was wearing a 6 dollar cheetah dress I made my husband buy me
from the supermarket (Tesco- to all my British Readers) and I had these tight Steve Madden devil shoes on.

Now I have not been to a club in a VERY long time. I have not waited in a line to get into a club probably since I was 20. The only line I will EVER wait on would be to enter the Shedd Aquarium or to go to Red Lobster (just keepin’ it real)  As we entered the club, excited, like two freshman college girls, we stood in amazement.

The club is beautiful and everyone should go at least once to witness it. The music was amazing. They played all my Jams from 3005 by Childish Gambino and Latch by Sam Smith. Whenever I would hear a song I loved I would feel my feet creaking in the tight patient leather shoes. I really wanted to get down and dance, but these tight shoes were messin’ up my flow. So I shadily took them off, reached in my purse and got my Crocs. I decided if I am gonna be judged it might as well be for my footwear rather than my dancing.

When I tell you I went from dancing like this:

TO THIS:

WITHIN A MATTER OF SECONDS. CROCS SAVED MY LIFE AND MY FEET.

As I looked at all of the women wearing their Empire State Sky Scrapers I felt bad that I did not have an extra pair to give them. I want to be the Mother Theresa of Crocs. I want to help people know they can find a better foot life.

As we danced the night away I started to become less conscious about my Crocs and more conscious about how great I was feeling on the dance floor. That night we were a mess, we were basic, we were the type of girls who order Pumpkin Spice Latte’s on tap! But, it was such a fun evening in Chicago.

I just wanted to write this post and say get some Crocs.

Don’t be embarrassed and have the COURAGE to be YOU.

It will go a long way in the end!

Love y’all

D

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